Lost in Translation

Jim and I are planning a vacation. Part of the trip will be spent in Paris. We are both excited, and recently ordered a phrase book so that we could communicate in French. I won't be able to speak fluently, but I think its respectful to at least order a coffee and say how ya doing.
The phrase book arrived the other day and I decided to flip through and get started. As I was flipping through I noticed a few unusual phrases. It made me think, "Who in the honk would need to say this in any language, let alone a tourist just trying to get by using a foreign language?"

Here are a few examples of the phrases I am speaking about:

I am married but...
Um, really? Now this one isn't that odd, but I find it unnecessary to need this phrase. I mean, if you are buying a phrase book, you probably aren't going to carry on long conversations with singles. So, what do you just walk up to someone in a club and say "I am married but...."

Do you want to arm wrestle?
Seriously? This made me laugh out loud. Perhaps instead of the customary nod that guys use in the US to greet each other, the French arm wrestle. Or maybe the way you tell a chef the meal was spectacular is by challenging them to an arm wrestling contest. Thoughts?

I only eat insects
OK..this one is plain strange. Perhaps if you were an American frog this would come in handy. Otherwise, when would you ever need to know this phrase? Lets think about this, when was the last time you said to someone "I only eat insects"? I get "I am a vegetarian", "I am allergic to garlic", etc. But I only eat insects. That one baffles me

Did someone fart?
OK, sorry if this one is offensive to anyone. But here is the thing: We wonder why we get a bad rap as tourists, and I think I figured out why. We travel to other countries, can't ask for directions, but go around asking if they farted.

I am really excited for our vacation. I just hope I don't think I am ordering a latte and end challenging Jim to a duel with a local