A moment to reflect

Today is International Stillbirth and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day.

Chances are, you know someone (or of someone) who has suffered through the pain of loss of pregnancy. Please take a moment to think of and prayer for them today.

Also prayer for the women in your life who are pregnant and about to embark on the journey of motherhood.

If you are struggling with loss, or what to do or say to someone coping with loss, check out this site which is directory of sites that may help.

I also want to share this quick note from an article I read in Parents magazine, called Say the Right Thing. I should reiterate a point made in the article, and say that I truly believe that people are most often well intentioned and not sure what to say. The comments that can sometimes hurt most are usually said with the intent of helping a friend and easing their pain.

When a Friend Has a Miscarriage
Lisa Bertrand, of St. Louis, felt sad and alone after her pregnancy ended at nine weeks. Her friends and family tried to be supportive, but some of their remarks were piercing and painful. "One friend said, 'The baby must have had a lot of problems,'" she recalls. "To me, it sounded like she was saying, 'It probably wasn't a perfect baby, and so what's there to be so upset about?'" What helped was talking to a friend who cried with Bertrand when she told her the news. "That friend really understood how I felt, and I ended up being the one reassuring her, saying, 'Don't worry; I'll be okay,'" Bertrand said.

No matter how clunky their reaction, most people genuinely want to make a friend who's lost a baby feel better. "Even the most insensitive things that pop out of their mouth are usually motivated by an impulse to make everything okay," says Ann Douglas, author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. With a miscarriage, what often gets minimized is the depth of the loss -- or at least that's how it can feel to someone who is hurting. "Even a very early miscarriage is the loss of a baby, and that causes grief," Douglas says. In addition, a woman who loses a pregnancy often feels guilty, as if it's somehow her fault. Friends who don't acknowledge what happened can compound that feeling. "If you aren't sure what to say, just say, 'I'm so sorry,'" suggests Douglas. "It might seem generic, but in most cases, it's the most appropriate thing to tell someone." If she wants to share details of the situation, she will, otherwise don't pry.

Don't say...
"It just wasn't meant to be." It's easy to be philosophical when it's not happening to you.

"Are you going to try again?" When some one's grieving the loss of an unborn child, she doesn't really want to think about another just yet.

"At least you know you can get pregnant!" Right. But she also knows she can lose the baby. Not something she wants to be reminded of.

"I just know everything will work out next time" Actually, you don't

Do say...
"I'm so sorry to hear about what happened."
"I'm here if you feel like talking about it."
"Can I run any errands for you? I'd like to help in any way I can."

Easy Peasy Pork Chop Dinner

In the last two days, two of my friends told me about this yummy pork chop recipe they made with apple pie filling and stuffing. I don't make pork chops that often since neither Jim or I are big fans, however, I thought I would give it whirl.
It was yummy, and easy. Thanks Jen and Ang for a new way to make pork chops.
Here is what I did

4-6 boneless pork chops (you can easily adjust to feed more of less). I used 4
1 6oz package stuffing mix (I used savory herb)
1 21oz can apple pie filling

Preheat oven to 350
Prepare stuffing according to package.
Light season pork chops with salt and pepper. Brown pork chops in skillet. You don't want to cook them through, just brown them.
Spray 9*13 pan with cooking spray. Spread apple pie filling in bottom of pan. Place pork chops over apples, layer stuffing over pork chops. Cover with foil.
Bake 40-50 minutes, until pork chops are cooked through.

***The tops of the mounds of stuffing will get a little dry. I like that, however, if you don't, place a little water, broth, or even a dot of butter on the stuffing mounds during the last ten minutes of cooking to moisten them.

I served the stuffing on the side, topped the pork chops with apples, and served green beans with slivered almonds on the side (cuz I'm fancy like that)

Jim will never be the guy that goes crazy for pork chops, but he liked this (which worked for me). I thought it was really tasty, and would make it again.

By the way...I am pretty sure Bon Appetit won't be calling me to do food arranging or photography for them anytime soon:

Happy Birthday Grandma (Oct 10th)

Happy Birthday Grandma (she is the one we call Grandma Foxy)

Five Fun Foxy Facts

1. She loves to tell the story of the time I ripped her houseplant right out of its planter (to my defense, I was a just a baby)
2. She warms your plate before serving dinner. "You don't put hot food on a cold plate"
3. She makes the best salsa and strawberry jam you will ever eat.
4. She participates in the Relay for Life Event for The American Cancer Society Every Year
5. She is an amazing, kind, caring woman who I love, adore, and think of every day (often more than once)
   
6. She once exclaimed "Carrie is by far my favorite grandchild"

Whats in a name?

Back when this whole thing started not too long ago, it was meant as a way for me to share my love for cooking and baking. It really stemmed from seeing the blog of one of my best friends. She began a blog to share her journey through pregnancy. I thought blogging would be fun. The truth is, however, I had no idea what I would share. My husband and I currently have no children and don't lead the craziest lives. What would I have to offer the blogging world?
So, it occurred to me that I could share my passion for food. I thought I would share some recipes, and move on. Then it happened, I stumbled on this cooking related blog, that somehow led me here. Jennifer is a bit of a blogging mentor. Her blog is amazing and you will want to be her friend after reading. You will also be totally jealous because she writes so well that you feel like you are having coffee with her and she is telling the story to you and only you. Her blog introduced me to all sorts of other blogs, like this one. I think Emily and I would be crafting pals if we lived near other. Through all of these blogs, I realized that maybe I had more than just recipes to share and when she started writers workshop, I discovered a whole new way to express myself. Through all this, blogging has become quite therapeutic for me. I am loving blogging more and more every day.
So, here is my dilemma - Should I change my blog name and address? The recipes are still going to be a constant, however, I think other things will continue to flow into this blog as well.
I need to know what you think! Part of me thinks it would be fun (I have thought of names), and part of me is worried that I should stick with how I started out. Truthfully, I am wondering if I am limiting myself with the name. See what I mean, I can't decide.
I am asking you. There is a poll on my sidebar. Vote, tell your friends to vote. Let your voice be heard! Heck, I won't even make you register!

Writers Workshop Wednesday #1- Learning what its really about

I am going for teachers pet this week with Mama Kat. I have so many holiday memories, I am sharing three. So there! And btw...the next two aren't very long and will make you laugh. I promise!
And sorry about the Christmas music, but it seems appropriate. Plus, who doesn't love a NKOTB version of Little Drummer Boy?

I am 31, and I get as excited as a little kid for Christmas. I love the hustle and bustle of the crowds, I love to bake cookies while listening to holiday music playing in the background. I love to make a mug of hot cocoa and wrap presents and picture the look and the persons face when they open it up. I really think its the most wonderful time of the year.
And while I love it, it always brings it share of pain. My mom passed on December 1st, 1992 and she was the biggest lover of the holiday season ever. She made the time of year feel magical with her glow and excitement. The house was always decorated beautifully, and you couldn't help but smile when you walked in. She once stated that she wanted to hold on til after Thanksgiving so we wouldn't have to lose her at Thanksgiving. I think she really wanted to hold on and make it til Christmas, and I am sure that made letting go a little harder for her. The fact of the matter was, she couldn't hold on that long. Deep down she knew that it wasn't really up to her and holding on til Christmas wasn't an option. Even though she wanted it, she wouldn't be able to spend one more Christmas with us.

I go through quite a roller coaster of emotions during that time of year because of it, and often I bury myself in the joy to get through the pain. Make no mistake, my joy isn't fake, it just seems that I make sure I look at the glass half full over and over again during the holidays. I always loved them and I know more than anything that the last thing my mom would want me to feel at the holidays was sadness.

Back in 2003, Jim and I were married for a year and a half. We had bought a house, were working decent jobs, but, were by no means well off. We decided to forgo exchanging gifts to save money and have a "toned down" holiday season. I left the decorations in the attic and we didn't even buy a tree. It was a well intended plan but....
I backed out. In my heart I did anyway.
I was sad, so sad. I did my best to hide it, because it wasn't as if Jim had coerced me into the plan. I had agreed. The problem was, it creeped into other areas. I wasn't as excited to go out shopping and the Christmas music never really played. I spent more time thinking about the pain of that time of year, and it hurt. Looking back, it was silly. I should have taken out some of the decorations, baked the traditional cookies, etc. Toning it down for one year shouldn't have meant stopping it all together. Hindsight, of course is always 20/20.
You may be wondering where this is going and why I am depressing you with "The Year the Andersons Skipped Christmas", but here is why Christmas of 2003 has special memories for me:

1 I woke up Christmas morning, Jim looked over at me and suggested we head downstairs for coffee before getting dressed and heading to his Dads for breakfast.
I walk downstairs, and there it is. A tree. Not a huge tree, but the cutest little table top tree with tiny lights and a star crafted from foil covered cardboard, that only a guy could make. A gift sat under the tree - a set of crafting scissors for my card making. And over the mantle was my stocking. Filled with a pack of M&Ms and a Ferrero Rocher.
It was so sweet and meant the world to me. It didn't cost a lot, but to me was worth more than any other gift he had ever given me. He knew I was sad and rather than just letting it pass, he and his buddy went to Michael's Arts and Crafts and shopped so that I could have the Christmas joy I love.

2 I looked back and realized for my Mom, it was never about the things. Christmas never meant gifts or material things to her. It didn't even depend on the music playing in the background. Sure, those things were fun and she liked them, but they were, in some ways, a means to an end. What it was really about was the time with each other, the joy and the memories. Maybe that is why she held on as long as she could, and then decided it was ok to trust in what was planned for her and let go. She didn't want the memories to be tarnished by the pain. And for what its worth, they never were.

I learned a lot that year, from two of the most important people in my life

WWW - Part #2 Christmas with kids

This weeks prompt, memory 2
Jim and I moved to Florida in May of 2007, and this past Christmas we traveled back to spend the holidays with our family and friends. We spent the week at my brothers, and I have to say Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning were so so so much fun with my nieces. Since Jim and I don't have any of our own yet, we had never got to experience the joy of Christmas with kids.
I won't bore you with all of the details, but I will share their letters to Santa. Kara, who is the youngest insisted on leaving money (which she took from her own piggy bank) for Santa. She said she is sure he likes all the milk, but would need some money for coffee when he got cold. And how cute is it that she reassured Santa not to worry if he didn't deliver on getting her a Nintendo WII (which for the record he did not get her one, and it was never even mentioned after the note).

They are such sweet girls!

WWW - Part #3 Holiday Memory

This weeks prompt - memory 3
Editors Note...Jessica and Drew were never late

A shout out to my friends back in Ohio. They were always late to the annual holiday dinner our house, and I just picture this occurring in the car on the way to our house.
Its ok though, I still love em and they are the most amazing friends!